


Once. Twice.

by codevassie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, Tragedy, i also think, i think, i told myself to write and this came out?, the death doesn't happen in the story?, when i say major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codevassie/pseuds/codevassie
Summary: Keith thought Lance would be with him for an eternity. He had promised him. Now he was left there. Alone.





	Once. Twice.

_“Keith?”_

 

_“Keith?”_

 

_“You never have to be alone again. I promise.”_

 

When Keith's eyes opened it was to a dark and dreary room. His alarm was singing that pop song Lance liked so much. He always liked waking to the happy noises and bright voices so that he could at least say his day started off well before leaving for work at a time when the sun was still not out.

 

Keith blinked at the ceiling, shifting his eyes so that he could see that the world outside the thin curtains that hung on the window was still dark. He didn't want to get up and blindly swatted at the alarm clock until it quieted so he could burrow back into his pillow. When he snuggled back in, expecting to feel the warmth of a body next to his, he remembered.

 

After that, Keith didn't allow himself the luxury of sleeping in or cozying down into the sheets and pillows. He breathed in and out. Once. Twice. Then rose and left the room.

 

The kitchen light was bright, too bright for Keith’s eyes. He walked to the coffee machine and started it up then went to the cupboard and retracted two mugs. In the morning haze, he stared down into them. It wasn't long until the machine had dinged behind him and he went to prepare the coffee.

 

Keith got ready for work like any other morning. Plain shirt. Red tie. Lance said he looked good in red.

 

He left silently as to not disturb the rest of the apartment.

 

Work was as to be expected from an office job and Keith oftentimes found himself daydreaming on the clock.

 

He daydreamed of their apartment. It had always been drab, the both of them in low paying jobs and paying off student loans, but with Lance there it had always been perfect. He loved to push aside the curtains of the living room windows, something Keith would never remember to do, to let in the afternoon sunlight.

 

_“Keith, come here! Come heeeere!”_

 

_He was laughing. Keith loved Lance’s laugh._

 

During Keith’s lunch break he noted that the sky was grey. It fit Keith’s mood and he pushed a hand through his hair as he stood dead center of the busy sidewalk.

 

Perhaps it would rain soon. Lance loved the rain.

 

That evening Keith came home and hung up his coat. He had picked up extra hours at work, not wanting to return to the apartment so soon. But here he was again.

 

He stood in the hallway for a fraction of a second. He looked down to the door to the living room, expecting to see it's light on or even the flashing of a TV left on. He glanced once. Twice.

 

Then walked ahead anyway.

 

_“Keith, you're home! Finally. I feel like I've been waiting for hours.”_

 

Keith walked passed the living room to silence and solitude. No one was waiting for him.

 

He walked into the kitchen and put away the unused coffee mug.

 

He walked into their bedroom to an empty bed.

 

First he took off his watch and emptied his pockets on his bedside table. Lance hated the mess even though Lance was practically mess incarnate. Then Keith took off his shoes and loosened his tie.

 

He looked out the window. The last drops of sunlight were sapping from the day. The sky was too cloudy for stars.

 

Keith turned away from the window and proceeded to undress. The tie came off and his socks. The motions grew slower until he got tired of it all and just stood in the middle of the room, eyes sweeping over the once familiar space.

 

There was a picture frame on Lance’s side table.

 

_“Move it and you'll pay, mullet!”_

 

Keith stepped around to the other side of the room and picked up the frame. He'd never, not once, touched it.

 

It was a horrible picture. It was of him and Lance at an amusement park. Lance had told him to make a funny face so he'd done the first thing that'd come to mind, crossed-eyed and tongue sticking out. He looked like an idiot.

 

Lance did too with the bunny ears he was pointing up at the back of Keith’s head and one hand pulling on his own ear. His nose was scrunched but he was looking over at Keith, not the camera.

 

It was so ridiculous and Keith had told Lance to get rid of it a long time ago. Lance had threatened no home cooked meals for a week if Keith did anything to it.

 

Not that Keith got home cooked meals nowadays. Most days he just forgot. He had always been forgetful about human necessities before Lance was there to constantly smack sense into him. Keith doubted he'd ever forgotten this much though.

 

He hadn't even noticed when his hands began to shake, jostling the frame just so slightly that Keith was afraid he might drop it. He carefully put it back on the table, guilt crawling it's way into him that he had moved it.

 

It would never be the same now. It wouldn't be where Lance had put it, where he had wanted it. It would always be just _too much_ to the right. Never the right angle. It wouldn't be right.

 

Keith let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, clasping his hands to try to get a hold of himself.

 

_“You just have to breath. Remember? Breath.”_

 

_“I'm trying, Keith- I can- I can’t-”_

 

_“Breath, Lance.”_

 

He'd told Lance to breath on many occasions. When he talked so much that he'd forget to. When stress threatened to overcome him.

 

Keith took his own advice. Breath.

 

He'd told Lance to breath all those months ago too.

 

Breath.

 

But the world was crashing down on him and everything was wrong. There was only one thing that could make it right - only one person - but he was- he was-

 

A faint tapping at the window stirred Keith from his thoughts, calming him once he realized what it was. It was soothing. No wonder Lance had liked it so much.

 

When Keith had stopped shaking he chanced to open his eyes. He was less shocked now to find an empty, lifeless room. It was as it had been for months and how it would be for many more to come. Maybe even every month to come. Could he stay there for that long? He was afraid the constant reminders of this apartment would drive him insane, if not kill him.

 

He let his ears and his thoughts focus on the sounds of rain against the window. He breathed. In and out. Once. Twice.

 

Then he stood and made his way again out of the bedroom. Passed the kitchen where Lance used to hum while he cooked. Passed the living room where he’d be the one to remember to draw the curtains. To the hallway where he'd greet Keith home on days he'd be out later and Keith would do the same when Lance was.

 

Keith left the apartment. He didn't lock the door behind him because he didn't plan to be out for very long. Bare-footed, he padded his way through the stairwell until he reached the bottom floor and carried himself outside.

 

The rain was strong. No lightning and no winds, though Keith probably wouldn't have noticed anyway. The only thing that was on his mind then was the feeling of raindrops on his skin, on his face.

 

_“Dance with me!”_

 

_“What?!”_

 

_“Come on; you've never danced in the rain before?”_

 

Keith thought he'd run out of tears long ago, but out there in the rain he knew the wet of his face did not only come from the sky.

 

He had never really accepted that Lance was gone. He'd always expected him to be there. Always thought they'd have eternity together.

 

Before Lance an eternity alone had never sounded so bad, but now Keith couldn't think of a worse fate.

 

Keith was fairly sure the tears were gone when he finally faced towards the sky. He sighed.

 

Things were different. Keith had been stuck for a long time, not quite understanding that, but now he thought he did.

 

He would go home alone. No one would be there. He would wake up alone. He would have to keep surviving alone. He couldn't bring himself to think he could truly live. Maybe one day. Lance would want him to keep hope.

 

_“Keith?”_

 

Keith lowered his head from the skies.

 

_“You never have to be alone again. I promise.”_

 

“Promise...” Keith whispered, looking out to the street to the building across. He watched nothing in particular, still focusing his energy on the rain and memories. “You promised, Lance.”

 

He imagined Lance there. Lance probably would have been devastated he’d had to break that promise. Typical Lance. After everything, he still would have found fault from it even when he couldn't control it.

 

But he also would have told him that he wasn't alone. Even without Lance there, Keith never had to be alone. Their friends would always care. They would kick his butt themselves if they knew he was disregarding them in such a way.

 

They had been there for him more than anyone these past months. Keith could never think anything less of them.

 

Yet they were so far away. They grieved and he grieved, yet they were worlds apart. Why were they so far apart?

 

_“Sometimes things are up to you, man. People can reach out, but they can't do anything if you don't reach back.”_

 

Sometimes Lance was really too smart for his own good. Even now most of Keith’s rational thoughts took his voice.

 

So Keith took a deep breath and turned towards his building. Maybe he was ready this time.

 

And when Keith stepped back into the dimly lit lobby, he tried to leave those words behind. That memory behind.

 

_Lance was shaking, breath coming in fast and going out in wheezes. Keith was frantic and he wondered why Lance wasn't too. He had been only a minute before._

 

_“Keith.” his voice shook and the same effect went down to Keith’s very bones._

 

_“It's okay, Lance. Just keep breathing. Breath.”_

 

_“Keith.”_

 

_The way Lance said his name then stole all attention Keith had towards anything else. They locked eyes and nothing else in the world existed._

 

_“Yes?” Keith asked, terrified of the answer._

 

_Lance smiled. Then nothing. Then that smile disappeared forever._

 

Keith entered their apartment again. He wasn't surprised the lights were still out. He wasn't surprised he couldn't hear laughter or see the light of the living room television on. He wasn't surprised to be alone.

 

When Lance had made that promise, it had been a blind hope. Keith didn't want Lance’s promise to be broken, if anyone but for Lance himself. The idiot had always taken promises seriously.

 

So Keith refused to believe he was alone, that he had ever been alone since that day. He had Lance’s memory. He had friends and the love of those closest to him.

 

Keith still hurt. A part of himself was now lost forever and a certain loneliness would never leave him. But curled up that night listening to the water tap tap tap against the window, Keith knew he couldn't be alone. He refused to be like that ever again.

 

Keith closed his eyes and leaned back against the headboard to the bed. He breathed. Once. Twice.

 

“I'm not alone, Lance.” He whispered to the room. The curtains were drawn, so the light of street lamps down below softly illuminated large rectangles into the carpet from the window panes.

 

“I hope you aren't too.”


End file.
